Saturday, October 05, 2013

A Father's Heart

I'm an introvert. I get restored by being alone. Weird to many, but it's just the way it is. Because of that, I spend a lot of time alone, and some of that time I just spend just thinking about things.

Today I was thinking about my girls. How much I love them. How precious they are to me. How much I hurt when they hurt. I've never really had a way with words. I'm more of a hugger than a talker. Sometimes I just don't know what to say, but I hope my girls know how much I love them anyway. When they call me hurting, I just want to hold them tight in my arms and let them know it's going to be ok... Like when they were little kids. It's a bit harder now that they are "all growed up."

Because of some stuff going on over the last week, it really made me think about this tonight. Everything is ok, but it just made me think about it. And is want to happen, when I think about my dad relationship with my girls, it makes me think of my Dad's ( God's ) relationship with me and other humans. As I sit here thinking about how I wish I could make it all better when something goes wrong, or how I hope they know how much I love them, or how I just had the right words to say... I hear the Holy Spirit expressing similar feelings to me.

We sometimes step out if what God has for us, and it sometimes makes it hard for Him to bless us in the best way possible. We sometimes don't talk to Him and that makes it hard for Him to say the right things to us... Not because He doesn't know what to say, but because we don't listen. He also worries about whether or not we know how much He loves us, because most if the world doesn't, and because there are so many incorrect views in the world of who He is.

As I think on how short life is, how my girls childhood went by so fast, and how I grieve, in a way, for missed chances, I think about how God misses all the days He could have had with us, but we did not know Him. Or all the things He could have helped with, but we did not ask. But, just as I also am happy with all the things I can participate in now with my girls, and how grateful I am that Jaime is close, and Tif is just a text or FaceTime away; I also know that my Father in Heaven takes joy in the fact that I soak to Him now, and that I have a good relationship with Him.

So anyway... Yeah, introverts. We say things on the internet we'd never say face to face... Because hey, it's only a few million people here ;)

Love your kids, they grow up way too fast. And love your Dad. His heart aches for you!

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