Seminar thought - its not about them, its about you

And on the other side... Point: Angel Curtis (Eastman's wife) was talking about how you can get so wrapped up in it being the other person's fault. They were going through a hard time and Jim came to counsel with them for a few days. He kept saying to her, "You aren't getting it. It isn't about Eastman. It's about you." and she kept saying, "NO. YOU AREN'T GETTING IT. IT IS ABOUT HIM". He did this. He did that. You don't understand. After a few days, it all of a sudden sunk in. "Oh... it isn't about him. It is about me." :-)

You can't always change the other person. The goal of a healthy, happy, marriage isn't to "train" or "mold" the other person until they are exactly what you want. Sometimes you have to look at yourself. Why do I respond to them that way? Do I have some issue that is making me feel this way? Is it fair for me to have this expectation, this desire, etc.

I'm not going to recap the seminar word for word, and I'm not a counsoler. But basically this point caused me to try and look at things in a new way. As I said, sometimes you just have to hear this stuff over and over before it sinks it. But what is starting to sink in is: look at my side, look at my responsibility, is there something I can do to change things.

Again, good stuff.